Raising Cain by Dan Kindlon Ph.D

Author:Dan Kindlon, Ph.D. [Kindlon, Dan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-56922-6
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2000-06-01T16:00:00+00:00

Dan with Tony: The Words Don’t Tell the Story

Tony has just turned sixteen. He is a tenth grader at a suburban high school known for both academic excellence and a strong sports program. Tony has always shown superior verbal abilities and is also an outstanding soccer player. He is tall, with dirty blond hair that is long in the front and often hangs over his right eye. When he talks, his gaze is usually directed toward his Nike sneakers. His voice is soft, and sometimes he mumbles his words. When he is more animated, which is not often, he may look up and make eye contact. Tony is like a traveler standing outside a door, uncomfortable in the cold, but tentative about coming in.

It is April, approaching the last grading period of the year. Tony has been sent for counseling because his grades are slipping. His parents and guidance counselor don’t know why and wonder whether I can figure it out. In looking through Tony’s school file, I see that his teachers’ comments show a pattern of concern over the gap between his ability and his performance as a student.

“Some of your teachers thought I should talk with you.”

“Yeah. I figured. My dad told me I’d have to see you.”

“Tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m doing really badly in English.”

“Tell me.”

“Well, I’m kind of flunking.”

“Why?”

“Well, there was this big paper I was supposed to do, and I couldn’t get it done, and now my grade for the semester is ruined.”

His failure might not have been a cause for concern in some cases, but Tony’s test scores have always been quite high. Reading comprehension has been a particular strength, with scores that place him among the top 2 percent of students in the country. But it’s not just that he didn’t complete the one paper. Tony has been pretty much of a no-show all year—more so in English than in other subjects, but more or less across the board. Underachievement of this sort tends to set teachers off: they take it personally. From their comments, it’s clear that they like Tony but are frustrated. One end-of-year comment from his ninth-grade English teacher reads: “In class I don’t hear as much from Tony as I used to. It hasn’t been hurting his writing, but more participation ought to help him extend his ideas even further.” His advisor sums up the ninth-grade year this way: “I am concerned that, although Tony is making an effort, the work is slipping away from him and that he may be sensing some real frustration.”

“Do you like English? Is Mr. Roberts a good teacher?”

“Yeah, I like English and all, but his class is kind of boring. The books we have to read are pretty stupid. It’s like all the books are about like how we screwed the Indians, or they’re by some woman or black guy that was oppressed. They’re not very good.”

“What kind of books do you like?”

“Stephen King is pretty cool.”

When we meet together with his

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